


you’re still picking me up (don’t you put me back down)

by mourningafter



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Ex Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Sleepover hell yeah, and doesnt like his job, and just needs comfort, anyway theyre gay, but he needs it, doyoung is upset, falling back in love, johnny loves saturdays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:34:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25763755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mourningafter/pseuds/mourningafter
Summary: Johnny loves Saturdays — they’re the one day he can be alone and away from work. Sundays are for working at home.And for his ex-lover, Doyoung, who decides to show up.
Relationships: Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 3
Kudos: 72





	you’re still picking me up (don’t you put me back down)

**Author's Note:**

> for anna who deserves more johndo fics <3 i hope this makes you happy !!

If there’s anything Johnny loves, it’s definitely Saturday nights.

Working in an office all week is tiring and finally being alone is peaceful. He says goodbye to the friends he has made there (Taeyong makes sure to remind him to be safe) and he trudges home Friday night to sleep. When he wakes up Saturday morning he feels like a whole new person. 

It’s a breath of fresh air.

Saturday nights, however, are sad. Reminders that he has to work come Monday morning makes him feel helpless and lost. Sundays are dedicated to working on things he never completed during the week (it tended to be a lot; Johnny never did good when he was suffocating in a crowded office space). Knowing that he has to even work makes him second-guess if a job is even worth it anymore.

News flash, he kind of needs it. With rent, food, and bills on bills, it would be dumb to throw away such a good job. Keeps him fed and taken care of. It’s nice to have  _ someone  _ taking care of him that isn’t just the reminders from Taeyong every morning of the week and on Friday evenings.

The show playing on his computer is boring and dull, and Johnny finds himself playing on his phone more than paying attention. It’s midnight now and his eyes are slightly droopy, but he keeps them awake for the sake of not wanting Saturday to truly end. It is done though (according to time, midnight indicating Sunday was now arriving) and finally he shuts his phone off and reaches for his computer to shut it.

A knock on the door sends him jumping. 

“Jesus,” he curses, and without anymore hesitation he walks to his door. He knows it could be anyone but he tries to think about who could possibly come knocking in the middle of the night. Maybe a drunk friend of a neighbor hitting the wrong door or maybe someone coming to check up on him. It makes him wonder.

He shuts one eye to properly squint through the peephole, only to be met with a face he hasn’t seen in weeks. Maybe months. It sends his brain into a quick panic. 

“God.” He swings the door open and puts on a bright smile for the visitor, a part of his chest already aching. “Hi, I didn’t know you were stopping by. Can I help you with something?”

The black-haired boy smiles back at him. “Hi, and sure you can. May I come in or do I need to only stand out here. In the hallway. Alone.”

Johnny suddenly remembers why his chest (heart) aches so bad. 

“Yeah, of course,” he mutters, stepping back and holding out his arm. “My home is your home. Or, it once was.”

Doyoung lets out a laugh that rings so beautifully that Johnny freezes. His smile stays plastered on his face (his cheeks are starting to hurt) as he lets it echo in his head a little longer as Doyoung steps inside, taking glances around the small apartment like he’s done before. 

“Looks the same as it always has. I can’t say I’m surprised,” the younger chirps, scratching the side of his head. Johnny nods as if Doyoung is looking at him. “Looks cozy.

Johnny closes the door and nods again, letting out a breath as he tries to climb to reality. Doyoung, his ex, was suddenly inside the apartment they shared for months with no reason as to why (for now). It was an odd sight and an odd feeling for him. One he couldn’t quite place. 

“What were you watching?” Doyoung asks, sitting down on the couch and looking at Johnny’s computer screen. “Ah, I can’t tell.”

“Nothing I want to talk about. Much more important things to discuss, don’t you think?” He walks to the computer and shuts it, not daring to glance at Doyoung. “Would you mind telling me why you’re suddenly here? I haven’t heard from you in weeks.”

“Oh.”

Doyoung shifts his eyes down to look at his hands. He knows better than to lie to Johnny, knowing full and well the older would pick it apart as if it were easy. There’s old tension sticking around in the air and it’s making him just want to stand up and shake it all off. 

“Can we… can we just talk about it later?” He doesn’t mean for his voice to come out slightly shaky. “I just thought that you would be fine with me stopping by.”

“I am,” Johnny replies easily, only now glancing up. “I guess I’m just confused, Doie. It’s odd to find your ex at the other side of your door, you know?”

“I know and I’ll make it up to you. However you want.” Doyoung smiles now, all hints of uneasiness and sadness washing off his face within seconds. Johnny can only smile back. “Can I join you on this fine early Sunday morning?”

Johnny laughs and nods. “Yeah. Any ideas?”

Doyoung offers to watch a movie to which Johnny agrees, but only if he gets to make more popcorn and sit on his favorite end of the couch. Doyoung can only roll his eyes but come to an agreement as he moves to the right side of the couch to lean on the pillows. He forgot how comfortable the couch was and, in that, remembered how much he considered the apartment like home. 

The microwave beeps as the movie title screen comes up, and in the next minute Johnny comes bouncing into the living room. Doyoung smiles at the sight of his ex being… happy? 

“Popcorn is my one true love, may I say,” Johnny states, the joke making Doyoung shake his head. “Let’s get this movie going, I have a date with this popcorn.”

Johnny leans forward and hits play. “Am I invited to this date?” Doyoung leans against his pillows. 

Johnny’s head snaps in Doyoung’s direction, unsure of what to say next. The words die in his throat as he tries to think, not knowing what was  _ right  _ to say (he could say yes and joke it off, right?) or even if there was a  _ wrong  _ thing to say. 

“Johnny. It was a joke,” Doyoung deadpans. “Loosen up, please. I didn’t mean to wipe the, uh, happiness from your face or… or whatever.”

Once again Doyoung is looking away and Johnny’s heart drops. He thought maybe the feelings he shared with the younger had faded away but with each passing second it gets harder to ignore them. 

The movie plays as Johnny studies his face, trying to find more words. It’s dumb to feel this way, especially towards his ex, he knows. Maybe it could all be okay. 

“Why did you come here?” It comes out without another thought, and the corner of Doyoung’s lips twitch. “I mean, there was no reason for you to randomly show up. We haven’t seen each other, spoken to each other in weeks, and suddenly you’re on my couch and we are watching a movie and you asked to join a date between me and my-“

“Because I missed you.”

A laugh leaves Doyoung’s lips but it’s definitely forced and Johnny feels bad. He knew the younger. How much he struggled to admit his feelings and come clean, and this confession wasn’t prepared. He just forced Doyoung to come clean about something he wasn’t ready to admit. 

“I… I missed you and I was unsure what to do. I took a walk to clear my head because my mom was talking about something that made it hurt. Then next thing I knew I was here.” He’s still not looking at Johnny, his eyes trained on the computer as if he’s paying a single ounce of attention to the movie. “This is so cliche and I know you’re probably thinking I’m dumb for missing you, since yeah, we haven’t spoken or seen each other in weeks. Feelings don’t disappear easily.”

Johnny nods, blinking his eyes rapidly as he tries to look away. “I understand.”

“Do you?” Doyoung’s eyes are now on his and the air is sucked from Johnny’s lungs. It hurts to see that although Doyoung is smiling, it doesn’t quite meet his eyes. “You might understand that I missed you, but I mean I miss being here. Being with you. Everything that comes with you.”

They go silent as the movie continues, a character yelling at their mom reaching Johnny’s ears. 

Sundays are for working on things he couldn’t finish in the week. 

“I miss you, too. I think seeing you here helps me realize.” Johnny sticks his hand into his bowl of popcorn and pulls out a piece. “If you’d like to join this date with me and the popcorn you’re more than welcome to.”

Doyoung laughs and Johnny smiles. “Thank you, I appreciate that a lot.”

His eyes are softer now as he laughs off whatever tension was between them before. Johnny freezes at the sight. Doyoung, red cheeks and pink lips. He looks like the boy Johnny fell in love with almost a year ago and the boy he hasn’t stopped having feelings for. 

Doyoung’s eyebrow raises. “What? Is something wrong?”

“No,” Johnny exclaims, inhaling a shaky breath as he glances down at the popcorn. “Just seeing you. Brings back memories.”

“I know.”

The silence returns and Doyoung is inwardly panicking. Johnny keeps handing him the bowl of popcorn to grab some before taking it back and he wants nothing more than to get Johnny to hold his hand rather than the dumb bowl of popcorn he has on a date. 

He almost laughs at the jealousy he feels towards an inanimate object. His head is in a flurry as he tries to not freak out about still not knowing what he’s going to do about his newfound Johnny problem (that he got himself into, might he add) and how he’s going to get past it. 

The movie ends sometime and the bowl is empty. Johnny is talking about the plot and how it doesn’t make sense and Doyoung was attempting to listen, he swears. But all he can think about is Johnny sitting there now, the bowl on the table, and his hands empty and waving around in the air as he speaks. 

“Your hands look nice,” he whispers, blinking once as Johnny stops talking. 

“What?” Johnny laughs. “Did I hear you right?”

Doyoung nods his head. “Uh, sure. What did I say?”

“You said that my idea is right,” Johnny replies. “I was really just talking out of my ass. After all, I know nothing about good plots and what makes a good movie, so this is really all just opinion-“

“That’s not what I said. I said your hands look nice. Your idea? Honestly I have no clue what you’ve been saying, I’m not great at paying attention.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Johnny smiles to himself. He’s been doing that a lot, hasn’t he? This conversation, this night— it’s so awkward yet he can’t find himself to care. Doyoung felt familiar and like happiness. He wishes he could keep him here. 

He holds out his hand. “You can hold it, you know. I won’t be upset with you.”

“Okay,” Doyoung breathes out, his smile making his teeth show as he looks up at Johnny. He puts his hand on Johnny’s and a laugh easily comes. “You’re so cheesy.”

“Isn’t that why you fell in love with me? ‘Cus I’m cheesy?” Johnny jokes, laughing along with the other. 

“Of course. That and your charm, duh.” Doyoung can’t stop grinning, can’t stop laughing. Johnny was making him feel happy, feel like the world was his to have.

“Thank you for this. Letting me join your date with your popcorn,” Doyoung says after a few minutes. “It means a lot to me. I hope you can see that.”

Johnny was a feeling. The feeling of coming home to a clean living room with a candle burning on the coffee table. The feeling of someone cooking your favorite meal just because they knew you would like it. The feeling of a first love that fell through your fingers because you just felt like you weren’t doing things right. In reality, you just needed to learn together how to get in touch with your feelings for someone else. 

“I’m still in love with you.”

The shock doesn’t even hit Doyoung as the words leave Johnny’s mouth. It’s not surprising a single bit, considering how Doyoung felt for Johnny. 

He turns. Johnny’s face is red and embarrassed as he thinks about whether to lie about what he just told his ex or not. 

“I know,” Doyoung says, his hand squeezing Johnny’s. “I feel the same way. Being here with you is what I needed after everything that has happened without you.”

“I’m free, today. The rest of today. I should work on stuff for work but I think you’re more important. We can… we can go out somewhere, whatever you want to do.” Johnny sounds hopeful and like he thinks Doyoung would reject him in a second. “I don’t want to lose this again.”

“I know,” the younger repeats. “You won’t. We can think about that later. It’s really late— almost three in the morning.”

Johnny sighs as he nods. “Do you need to go home? I can give you a ride so you don’t have to walk.”

“Can I stay over? I can sleep on the couch or whatever you want, I just want to stay here.”

Johnny shakes his head as Doyoung’s smile falls into a frown. “You can, but there’s no way in hell that you’re ever going to sleep on the couch. Come on, Doie.”

There’s a moment when Doyoung thinks about saying no. He can’t stay in the same bed as Johnny after leaving for weeks, after breaking both of their hearts. All because he didn’t know how to handle the overwhelming feelings. Then again, he knows it would make him happy again. 

“Okay.”

Johnny holds Doyoung’s hand all the way to their once-shared bedroom. Johnny doesn’t let go even as he struggles to pull open a drawer to get himself something to sleep in. Doyoung feels overwhelmed already, trying to remember all the nights he came back here to their room to fall asleep with Johnny. Safe in his arms. Not scared anymore. 

“Johnny?”

He pauses and glances up at his ex, close to lover at that. “What’s up?”

“Is this a mistake? Is it wrong to come crawling back to someone you left?” His voice is becoming shaky again and Johnny notices quickly, and within seconds Johnny has him secured in a hug and their hands are no longer together. It pains Doyoung just a little bit. 

“It’s not wrong. Maybe a little odd considering us, but definitely not wrong in my eyes. I think of it like… a dream come true.”

Johnny’s hand is gentle as it combs through Doyoung’s hair. Doyoung nods against him. 

“A dream come true.”

“The best one.”

They part and Johnny sends him a soft smile. 

“I mean it. This is the best dream. I can’t tell if I’m still dreaming.” It’s a joke that trails off as he looks at the younger, a smile still on his lips. 

Then Doyoung was kissing him. 

There was no fireworks. No big explosion as their lips touched and nothing huge happening. What it really felt like, in the depths of Doyoung’s heart, was happiness. Hope. Like he was home to stay. 

Johnny felt like he was no longer alone. There was going to be more time to fall back in love and stay in love with Doyoung, and he would know soon enough that they were meant to stay back together. 

“Let’s go to bed,” Johnny suggests when they pull apart. Doyoung’s smiling as if he can’t even believe what was happening to them. 

“Okay.”

Johnny lends Doyoung a pair of pajama pants and they change with their backs turned. Doyoung can’t stop smiling, unable to make himself stop. 

Mindlessly walking was worth it. 

They climb into Johnny’s bed and Johnny offers Doyoung a spot beneath the blanket and between his arms. “You’re safe,” he whispers to Doyoung. 

He falls asleep. Happy. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> first nct fic down. how was it?


End file.
